From the Fifth Tri-Short Story Collection Death In Years, Years In Life
Sometimes we are so busy fighting against the wrong things that the things we should be battling we have no energy for; those things and people we should grow closer to and embrace we keep them away.
January 1st and New Year’s resolution day and, even though I vowed to keep that one major resolution in breaking up and trying to end a relationship, there I was still connected, still suffocating, still living and dying in the arms of my lover, depression, like a prey trapped in the talons of an eagle.
“But why can’t I be free?” I asked Noah.
“Maybe you’re looking for happiness in the wrong things and people. Jim, you have all that you want.”
“But not the one thing I need. Talking about it doesn’t help. Writing about it doesn’t help.”
“Why are you unhappy?”
“I feel useless.”
“I feel hopeless because the world is hopeless. Life is killing me.”
“What is life in one word?” I sat there thinking, not sure what it was. “Well?” Noah asked. “If you don’t know what’s making you depressed, you’ll never begin to heal.”
“God, why have you forsaken me?”
“I feel so lonely.”
“Then I as your friend being here doesn’t count? What you focus on defines your life. People don’t have to believe in you for you to believe in yourself. God has given you a splendid gift, life.”
“But why is it filled with so much pain and sadness?”
“Don’t we fill it ourselves with the help of others who are good and bad? I know we can’t snap our fingers and depression disappears, neither can we wave a wand and, poof, it goes away. But healing doesn’t begin with a pill or seeing a shrink. It begins with you making up in your heart and mind that you need help.”
“Are you sure you’re in the right profession?”
“You sound like a doctor of the mind.”
“No, just your friend,” he said, laughing.
“What’s life in one word? Hmm, complicated.”
This story is an original idea written by me.© Thanks for reading.
See you next Tuesday, God willing. 🙂
First story Death By Anger